Anxiety always hits the worse at night, and I’m wanting to fall asleep.
I close my eyes. Nestle my head into my pillow. Breath in deep, and settle under my covers.
Then I notice that my heart rate is starting to creep up. The thumping gets louder in my chest. I start to wonder what there is going on for me to feel anxious about and come up blank.
My hearts pounds. I don’t understand!
My hearts pounds. What is going on?!
My heart pounds. I guess I won’t be falling asleep.
This has been the routine whenever an anxiety attack comes on. Since I was 18 or 19 years old. Sometimes I can identify what has me worked up but usually not.
One night, around 3am, I decided to try music. No lyrics because I would be tempted to stay up and sing along.
I scrolled through the different classical stations. I tried classical strings, Renaissance and a few others. None of them soothed me. In fact, I felt more agitated!
Then I tried Baroque. Mostly because of the joke Cogsworth makes in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast: “If it’s not Baroque, don’t fix it.”
I was out like a light within 15 minutes.
Midday nap-out in 15 minutes.
I wake up early and refreshed in the mornings. I’m not sure what it is about the music, but it completely calms me.
Except when the Pandora ads wake me up.